Fletch Lives (HBO):
Gotta love Chevy Chase in the Fletch movies. They’ve got that classic play on words humor and Chevy is always good for some good stupid humor. If you have a good sense of humor and haven’t seen the Fletch movies you really should. The plot of this movie wasn’t terribly great or anything but Chevy held his own and kept the movie together. Good movie but the original Fletch is better.
Higherdef Rating: :shoeless :shoeless :shoeless and a half
King Ralph (HBO):
Gotta love a movie that puts an overweight, gambling, cheeseball American on the Throne in the UK b/c they killed the royal family taking a picture. So King Ralph is rude and crude and not exactly fit to be king and yet has the job anyway. Do you remember this movie coming out about 20 years ago? I did but still watched it anyway and it was just as cheesy and stupid and funny the 2nd time around too. Unfortunately, it’ll have to be another 20 years before I’ll give it a 3rd watching.
Higherdef Rating: :shoeless :shoeless and a half
Hancock:
So, according to P. Diddy, Will Smith is the first great black Super hero… thanks for telling us mr Diddy. I didn’t know that black people needed a fictional super being to feel great about themselves, I figured their superior athletic abilities, their ability to look great in any hair style, and super human strength in real life would be enough but what do I know, I’m only half black on the weekends! Ok, I’m just playing, Will Smith is the man in everything he does. He doesn’t make a bad movie and don’t play a bad character. The ONLY problem I had with this movie was that it wasn’t long enough. It was one super badass awesome scene away from being a top action movie but instead it leaves you wanting more and a lot more. I think Will Smith is great, and this could have been in the top 3 movies of the summer but I think it’ll fall short when it’s all said and done.
Higherdef Rating: :shoeless :shoeless :shoeless :shoeless
Vantage Point:
Ever wanted to watch the same scene in a movie 8 times in a row from 8 different points of view and then at the very end find out who was in charge and how it all went down? Well, if you did this is the movie for you and if you didn’t then you’ll still like this movie anyway. Good movie. Lots of different subplots that keep your interested as well as a decently suspenseful cluster of scenes to tie everything together.
Higherdef Rating: :shoeless :shoeless :shoeless and a half
The Spiderwick Chronicles:
Another popular children’s story turned into a movie. Have you ever heard the old Hollywood adage “don’t ever work with children or animals?” Well, this film found a loop hole. They only had to work with 2 kids, one of which played two roles (a set of twins) and is proving to be a great actor, and the other was probably about an 18 year old girl and just looks young and then all the animals are computer generated so I guess they’ve got that covered huh? So, it’s a decent movie though… I just really wish they had actually gotten 2 kids to play the roles of the two twins instead of one having one kid play both parts but I wasn’t very impressed with this movie. It kept me entertained at least…
Higherdef Rating: :shoeless :shoeless :shoeless
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Wednesday, July 23, 2008
HDFR 22
The Other Boelyn Girl:
So Natalie Portman and Scarlet Johanson star together as sisters who are trying to make a living in mid-evil Europe and sister 1 played by Natalie Portman wants to get it on with the king but the king takes a liking to sister 2. So everyone hates everyone and the king gets to sleep with everyone and then some so I say “it’s good to be king” but not great to watch this movie if you aren’t the king. I wasn’t too thrilled with the movie as a whole but it was interesting and not completely boring so I’ll give it an average rating.
Higherdef Rating:
and a half
Pumpkinhead 2: Ashes to ashes
So I have two pansy/chicken @$$, scardy-cat females that decided they couldn’t watch this movie so it never got watched. If you’ve seen it let me know how it is… we watched about 15 mins of it before the Rosiebest began and then it was time to end the misery. I wasn’t really getting into the movie anyway but whatever… I blame the lack of watching this one on the lack testosterone in my life.
Higherdef Rating: who knows… I didn’t get to see it.
National Treasure 2: Book of secrets:
So they made a sequel to a good movie and were destined to screw it up… well, not quite. I think they should have maybe put a little more thought into this one and really gotten it perfect before making a second Nat’l Treasure but they didn’t do a poor job at least. I think they should definitely quit here though. I can’t really see the series going any further without some major changes and I think it’s better if they just quit while they were ahead… but you know Hollywood so get ready for Nat’l Treasure 3: Notebook of a lesbian to be out in theatres summer 2010.
Higherdef Rating:
Wall-E:
Great movie. Go see it. Esp if you have kids or a wife or a family or a goat that you are fond of… whatever, just see it. I never thought I could have sympathy towards a cockroach but leave it to Pixar to make me feel like a ball of mush. Great, great movie. Top 3 best pixar movie ever.
Higherdef Rating:
Definitely, Maybe:
Chick Flick. But a good one at least… well, kind of. It was a typical chick flick so I guess that makes it good right? Well, I don’t know anymore. I don’t get as completely depressed and annoyed at chick flicks like I used to. Maybe it was good maybe it wasn’t. I really don’t remember much about the movie b/c it didn’t exactly stick with me like a great movie would so I guess that decides it…
Higherdef Rating: and a half
Ok I remember it some now, it was pretty good ;-)
So Natalie Portman and Scarlet Johanson star together as sisters who are trying to make a living in mid-evil Europe and sister 1 played by Natalie Portman wants to get it on with the king but the king takes a liking to sister 2. So everyone hates everyone and the king gets to sleep with everyone and then some so I say “it’s good to be king” but not great to watch this movie if you aren’t the king. I wasn’t too thrilled with the movie as a whole but it was interesting and not completely boring so I’ll give it an average rating.
Higherdef Rating:
and a halfPumpkinhead 2: Ashes to ashes
So I have two pansy/chicken @$$, scardy-cat females that decided they couldn’t watch this movie so it never got watched. If you’ve seen it let me know how it is… we watched about 15 mins of it before the Rosiebest began and then it was time to end the misery. I wasn’t really getting into the movie anyway but whatever… I blame the lack of watching this one on the lack testosterone in my life.
Higherdef Rating: who knows… I didn’t get to see it.
National Treasure 2: Book of secrets:
So they made a sequel to a good movie and were destined to screw it up… well, not quite. I think they should have maybe put a little more thought into this one and really gotten it perfect before making a second Nat’l Treasure but they didn’t do a poor job at least. I think they should definitely quit here though. I can’t really see the series going any further without some major changes and I think it’s better if they just quit while they were ahead… but you know Hollywood so get ready for Nat’l Treasure 3: Notebook of a lesbian to be out in theatres summer 2010.
Higherdef Rating:
Wall-E:
Great movie. Go see it. Esp if you have kids or a wife or a family or a goat that you are fond of… whatever, just see it. I never thought I could have sympathy towards a cockroach but leave it to Pixar to make me feel like a ball of mush. Great, great movie. Top 3 best pixar movie ever.
Higherdef Rating:
Definitely, Maybe:
Chick Flick. But a good one at least… well, kind of. It was a typical chick flick so I guess that makes it good right? Well, I don’t know anymore. I don’t get as completely depressed and annoyed at chick flicks like I used to. Maybe it was good maybe it wasn’t. I really don’t remember much about the movie b/c it didn’t exactly stick with me like a great movie would so I guess that decides it…
Higherdef Rating:
and a halfOk I remember it some now, it was pretty good ;-)
Sunday, July 13, 2008
HDFR 21
More movie reviews for you... b/c you are awesome and deserve it!
no really... You're welcome!
Memoirs of a geisha:
Movie about the forgotten art of being a geisha... which is kind of like a lady of the night but not really b/c lady of the nights are always doing stuff for money right and a geisha is more like a "good friend" to these dudes .... but.... then they pay for the geisha's virginity. So like they aren't lady of the nights... just paid for sex like one time.... but not lady of the nights. Just once... maybe. Interesting but not great.
Higherdef Rating: and a half
The curse of the golden flower:
Another movie set in the great continent of Asia! yet this one had a whole lot whoring around and whole lot more fighting and backstabery! I think people are messed up when it comes to power and this movie is a fine example of this. Give someone too much power and they abuse it ... pretty much always. So if you like that type of movie then watch this one. It did have good some good fight scenes anyway...
Higherdef rating: and a half
Meet the Spartans:
Spoof of 300 with some added "scary movie" type making fun of scenes. If you liked any of the scary movies and movies of the sort then you'll like this one and that's really all you need to know. They are pretty much the same movie over and over again with different people to make fun of but basically the same jokes... but they are in luck b/c I like those movies so I won't bash it too much.
Higherdef Rating: and a half
The History Boys:
So there are some boys, at an all boys school in the UK, who are all really smart and good friends b/c they are smart and in all the same cl@$$es and their teacher is a big fruit and they are all trying to get into the top schools in Europe and they are all studying to get in to the said schools. So the school (or someone) hires a new teacher to come in and teach up the boys so they can be all learn-ed about stuff they need to know about stuff so they can schmooze their way into the school of their choice. Anyway, the guys are all smart and I suppose they are funny but I'm either stupid or American or both and didn't get half the jokes b/c I'm a stupid American and we think fart jokes and people getting hit in the nuts are funny and they think making a bad pun in French about a line from a poem is funny... but personally I would have really enjoyed seeing those guys taking a shot in the nuts.
Higherder Rating:
the Great Debaters:
Denzel Washington proves again that he is a great actor and proves again the he could win the oscar for every role he plays in as well as Forrest Whitaker. On to the movie! So there's these black students who are really smart and a bunch of white people are racist and southern and really closed-minded and did I mention racist? and they have to overcome all these really terrible things to dominate the debate world and eventually (spoiler alert don't read anymore if you don't want to know what happens)....... have you stopped reading yet? ok, good.... so they eventually kick harvard's white @$$ all over the sorry northeast and then take the gravy and watermelon train all over the south kicking every white school's @$$ in the world ever! That is, until 2006 when they lose to SC b/c they were the nat'l champs that year... but then they dominated the world again forever b/c they are black and awesome! Ok so it really was a great GREAT movie and I'm making light of it bc... well, I'm a jerk, but seriously it was a great movie no racist jokes about it.
Higherdef Rating:
no really... You're welcome!
Memoirs of a geisha:
Movie about the forgotten art of being a geisha... which is kind of like a lady of the night but not really b/c lady of the nights are always doing stuff for money right and a geisha is more like a "good friend" to these dudes .... but.... then they pay for the geisha's virginity. So like they aren't lady of the nights... just paid for sex like one time.... but not lady of the nights. Just once... maybe. Interesting but not great.
Higherdef Rating:
and a halfThe curse of the golden flower:
Another movie set in the great continent of Asia! yet this one had a whole lot whoring around and whole lot more fighting and backstabery! I think people are messed up when it comes to power and this movie is a fine example of this. Give someone too much power and they abuse it ... pretty much always. So if you like that type of movie then watch this one. It did have good some good fight scenes anyway...
Higherdef rating:
and a half Meet the Spartans:
Spoof of 300 with some added "scary movie" type making fun of scenes. If you liked any of the scary movies and movies of the sort then you'll like this one and that's really all you need to know. They are pretty much the same movie over and over again with different people to make fun of but basically the same jokes... but they are in luck b/c I like those movies so I won't bash it too much.
Higherdef Rating:
and a halfThe History Boys:
So there are some boys, at an all boys school in the UK, who are all really smart and good friends b/c they are smart and in all the same cl@$$es and their teacher is a big fruit and they are all trying to get into the top schools in Europe and they are all studying to get in to the said schools. So the school (or someone) hires a new teacher to come in and teach up the boys so they can be all learn-ed about stuff they need to know about stuff so they can schmooze their way into the school of their choice. Anyway, the guys are all smart and I suppose they are funny but I'm either stupid or American or both and didn't get half the jokes b/c I'm a stupid American and we think fart jokes and people getting hit in the nuts are funny and they think making a bad pun in French about a line from a poem is funny... but personally I would have really enjoyed seeing those guys taking a shot in the nuts.
Higherder Rating:
the Great Debaters:
Denzel Washington proves again that he is a great actor and proves again the he could win the oscar for every role he plays in as well as Forrest Whitaker. On to the movie! So there's these black students who are really smart and a bunch of white people are racist and southern and really closed-minded and did I mention racist? and they have to overcome all these really terrible things to dominate the debate world and eventually (spoiler alert don't read anymore if you don't want to know what happens)....... have you stopped reading yet? ok, good.... so they eventually kick harvard's white @$$ all over the sorry northeast and then take the gravy and watermelon train all over the south kicking every white school's @$$ in the world ever! That is, until 2006 when they lose to SC b/c they were the nat'l champs that year... but then they dominated the world again forever b/c they are black and awesome! Ok so it really was a great GREAT movie and I'm making light of it bc... well, I'm a jerk, but seriously it was a great movie no racist jokes about it.
Higherdef Rating:
Monday, July 07, 2008
HDFR 20
Fur:
So Nicole Kidman and Robert Downey Jr. star in this creepy-de'jour movie about a guy who is like this wolf-man creature thing and nicole kidman is this house wife who has this weird fetish of exposing herself but we don't get to see anything anyway so what's the use. So anyway, this movie was really weird and I kind of liked it but not really that much. It was a far stretch from a love-story and there weren't really enough cool creepy stuff to make it worth watching.
Higherdef Rating:
Semi-pro:
So I figured that Will Farrell really has lost some his funny since the last few movies I've watching with him weren't that great so I didn't have high expectations for this one either but I was pleasantly surprised at this one. It was chocked full of good stupid and sex humor and did really miss on the plot. I mean, I'm not smarter for having watched this movie or anything but I'm definitely not disappointed.
Higherder Rating:
Saw IV:
So Saw III was terrible, II and the 1st were good and III was bad but I figured I'd give this one a chance and HOPE TO GOD that it wasn't as pointlessly gory as the 3rd... but after about 20 mins of just pointless over the top gore that has no place on the big screen or any screen for that matter. Note to filmmakers... just b/c you think it's cool to make something look real doesn't mean you have to. If you are into sick humping gore then just type it in on the internet and get your rocks off that way but don't put it in the big screen, it's sick and twisted and trash. I'll never watch another "Saw" movie ever again if I can help it and I've change my opinion of the 1st movie due to this crap.
Higherdef Rating: not worth wiping your @$$ with
Charlie Wilson's War:
One of the best movies I've seen in a while. Tom Hanks doesn't do a bad movie (yes I'm counting bachelor party too), and he continues to knock it out of the park again. I had never heard of Charlie Wilson before this movie and it gives me hope for the future of the country if there are some good politicians out there. Unfortunately, I still have little hope in the Gov't but at least I know there's one guy who can sleep with hot girls, drink a lot and still beat the crap out of communism!
Higherdef Rating: and a half
Strange Wilderness:
So I saw the trailer for this movie and that Steve Zahn was in this movie and thought this is a sure fire hit! I figured there'd be lots of laughs and stupid humor and I just got stupid in the process. I really don't think I would have finished the movie if there wasn't this super hot blonde in the movie and even then it was pretty much not worth watching. So do yourself a favor and don't see this one... it's bad.
Higherdef Rating: and a half
So Nicole Kidman and Robert Downey Jr. star in this creepy-de'jour movie about a guy who is like this wolf-man creature thing and nicole kidman is this house wife who has this weird fetish of exposing herself but we don't get to see anything anyway so what's the use. So anyway, this movie was really weird and I kind of liked it but not really that much. It was a far stretch from a love-story and there weren't really enough cool creepy stuff to make it worth watching.
Higherdef Rating:
Semi-pro:
So I figured that Will Farrell really has lost some his funny since the last few movies I've watching with him weren't that great so I didn't have high expectations for this one either but I was pleasantly surprised at this one. It was chocked full of good stupid and sex humor and did really miss on the plot. I mean, I'm not smarter for having watched this movie or anything but I'm definitely not disappointed.
Higherder Rating:
Saw IV:
So Saw III was terrible, II and the 1st were good and III was bad but I figured I'd give this one a chance and HOPE TO GOD that it wasn't as pointlessly gory as the 3rd... but after about 20 mins of just pointless over the top gore that has no place on the big screen or any screen for that matter. Note to filmmakers... just b/c you think it's cool to make something look real doesn't mean you have to. If you are into sick humping gore then just type it in on the internet and get your rocks off that way but don't put it in the big screen, it's sick and twisted and trash. I'll never watch another "Saw" movie ever again if I can help it and I've change my opinion of the 1st movie due to this crap.
Higherdef Rating: not worth wiping your @$$ with
Charlie Wilson's War:
One of the best movies I've seen in a while. Tom Hanks doesn't do a bad movie (yes I'm counting bachelor party too), and he continues to knock it out of the park again. I had never heard of Charlie Wilson before this movie and it gives me hope for the future of the country if there are some good politicians out there. Unfortunately, I still have little hope in the Gov't but at least I know there's one guy who can sleep with hot girls, drink a lot and still beat the crap out of communism!
Higherdef Rating:
and a halfStrange Wilderness:
So I saw the trailer for this movie and that Steve Zahn was in this movie and thought this is a sure fire hit! I figured there'd be lots of laughs and stupid humor and I just got stupid in the process. I really don't think I would have finished the movie if there wasn't this super hot blonde in the movie and even then it was pretty much not worth watching. So do yourself a favor and don't see this one... it's bad.
Higherdef Rating:
and a half
Saturday, July 05, 2008
HDFR 19
Lots of movies being watched lately... I've gotta get some of these reviews up for you!
Young Frankenstein:
Mel Brooks = Awesome. Some of the best play-on-word humor you'll ever see has been made by this great man! I really watched this movie b/c Clueless had never seen it before so I figured what the hey and so we watched it again (at her request). As usual, great movie, lots of laughs.
Higherdef Rating:
Half Past Dead:
Did you know Steven Segal was still around? I didn't. Well, apparently he is still making movies and playing the "bad @$$"... yup, I think he's like 50 now or something but he did a decent job. So here's the jist, he dies but comes back to life, then goes to prison as an undercover officer to bust some people or something and he makes overly serious faces into the camera once every 3 seconds and there's your movie.
Higherdef Rating: and a half
Slingshot:
So here's the jist, two guys like to swindle married ladies out of their money and so they go around doing this, but things get crazy when one guy falls in love with one of his "clients" daughter. So anyway I don't really remember much about this movie b/c it wasn't that great and obviously didn't stick with me at all.
Higherdef Rating:
10 items or less:
Morgan Freeman is the man, Paz Vega is super hot and also great, and they are together in a movie about a famous, kinda washed up, actor who is doing research for a new role he's in and he befriends a check out lady (Paz) at a local grocery store. Lots of laughs in this one and lots of darker humor but yet with a great story. I enjoyed this movie.. and did I mention Paz Vega is hot?
Higherdef Rating:
Slingblade:
Billy Bob Thornton plays a mentally challenged bag of hilarity and the laughs don't stop as the retardation of the nation spreads all over this one... ok I'm just playing it wasn't a comedy even though it did have some funny moments. If you haven't seen this movie I'd recommend it. I always heard people doing the "french fried potatoes" line all the time but always though it was from so like psycho killer guy in some horror movie, so when it came out of this movie, i was very taken-aback! Good movie though.
Higherdef Rating:
Young Frankenstein:
Mel Brooks = Awesome. Some of the best play-on-word humor you'll ever see has been made by this great man! I really watched this movie b/c Clueless had never seen it before so I figured what the hey and so we watched it again (at her request). As usual, great movie, lots of laughs.
Higherdef Rating:
Half Past Dead:
Did you know Steven Segal was still around? I didn't. Well, apparently he is still making movies and playing the "bad @$$"... yup, I think he's like 50 now or something but he did a decent job. So here's the jist, he dies but comes back to life, then goes to prison as an undercover officer to bust some people or something and he makes overly serious faces into the camera once every 3 seconds and there's your movie.
Higherdef Rating:
and a halfSlingshot:
So here's the jist, two guys like to swindle married ladies out of their money and so they go around doing this, but things get crazy when one guy falls in love with one of his "clients" daughter. So anyway I don't really remember much about this movie b/c it wasn't that great and obviously didn't stick with me at all.
Higherdef Rating:
10 items or less:
Morgan Freeman is the man, Paz Vega is super hot and also great, and they are together in a movie about a famous, kinda washed up, actor who is doing research for a new role he's in and he befriends a check out lady (Paz) at a local grocery store. Lots of laughs in this one and lots of darker humor but yet with a great story. I enjoyed this movie.. and did I mention Paz Vega is hot?
Higherdef Rating:
Slingblade:
Billy Bob Thornton plays a mentally challenged bag of hilarity and the laughs don't stop as the retardation of the nation spreads all over this one... ok I'm just playing it wasn't a comedy even though it did have some funny moments. If you haven't seen this movie I'd recommend it. I always heard people doing the "french fried potatoes" line all the time but always though it was from so like psycho killer guy in some horror movie, so when it came out of this movie, i was very taken-aback! Good movie though.
Higherdef Rating:
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